SUNDAY, APRIL 12 - Due Date!
We decided to head on down to The Farm on our due date and wait for the baby to come. We knew our date was accurate and didn't feel that I would go much over. We would rather be there and go into labor than go into labor at home and drive there. Carol, our midwife, agreed that this was a good decision. And she had said that with the baby being big, we would start doing things to try to start labor.
I had spent weeks making lists of things to pack. I drove myself crazy trying to be as organized as possible. I didn't want to forget anything. So when it came time to go, we were basically already packed. Pat loaded the car and we headed out. We were so excited to leave as a family of three and return as a family of four. On the drive there, we guessed when we thought she would be born. We both thought it would be in a few days. Pat even said she would come the next day because it was our anniversary and it was supposed to storm, and babies like to come during storms. I hoped he was right so we could meet our baby soon, but hoped he was wrong because I didn't really want to share our anniversary.
We drove straight to our cabin which was attached to Sharon's house. (Sharon was another midwife that I had emailed ALOT in the beginning and she had attended most of our clinic visits.) We quickly unpacked and got Max settled in. Sharon came down to greet us and was just as excited as we were. My mom showed up that evening and brought food. She was going to stay with us and help take care of Max. The first night was rough for Max, and therefore us. She was up and down all night. She is such a homebody and loves her routine, so being away is always hard at first. Luckily, she adjusts quickly and we didn't have any other rough nights.
MONDAY, APRIL 13 - Our Anniversary
We all felt that this would be the day. We woke up early and scheduled an afternoon appointment with an acupuncturist in Lawrenceburg, a town about 30 minutes away. The midwives said that one session of acupuncture could put me into labor. If not, we would repeat it on Wednesday and Friday. By the third time, it was sure to work. In the meantime, we relaxed and walked and relaxed and walked. Maxine loved going on walks around the Farm. It rained on and off all day, but we walked anyway. We walked down Sharon's road and came upon a dead armadillo trapped under some fallen branches. It must have been fresh because we watched it decay over the course of the week. We also met Wilson, a pit bull puppy that lived next door with his owner Kody. Wilson liked joining us for our walks.
Pat and I drove to Lawrenceburg that afternoon for my first session of acupuncture. I was nervous and scared it was going to hurt. The office was small and the staff was very friendly. We went back to the room and a very charismatic man came in to perform the acupuncture. He explained why he was putting the needles where he did. It didn't hurt all that bad. He put 4 needles in each foot/lower leg and one in each hand. We could hear a little girl crying down the hall and he commented how much he hated making little girls cry. He said it was a little Amish girl and she needed her finger splinted. He said that they come to him for everything since they don't go to traditional doctors. There is a large Amish community in the area, and the Farm midwives tend to them as well. I had to sit there for 20 minutes with the needles in. Then a nurse came in and removed them. It was supposed to work within 48 hours, and if not I would return for another session.
We stopped by the Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries and walk around since it was raining pretty hard. We bought ourselves a cast iron dutch oven for our anniversary. When we got back to the cabin, a hummingbird had flown into the atrium and couldn't find his way out. Pat kept an eye on him all evening waiting for him to get tired so he could grab him. Finally, after dark, the bird came to rest on the ground. Pat took him outside, but he couldn't fly. He took him some sugar water and put him in a tree for safety. When he went out later, he had fallen out of the tree so he put him on top of the Jeep. We hoped that he would regain his strength and be fine.
TUESDAY, APRIL 14
We woke up Tuesday a little disappointed that I hadn't gone into labor. Pat went out to check on his hummingbird, and it was dead. I was beginning to think the armadillo and hummingbird were bad omens. I tried not to think about it and just focus on getting this baby out. So we drove down to the swimming hole to walk. It was beautiful down there. The swimming hole was drained, but the creek next to it was flowing and even had a little waterfall. Maxine found her new favorite thing to do - throwing rocks into water. She would have stayed there for hours if she could.
We drove down the road a bit to a place called Dawn's Deli for lunch. We all ordered cheeseburgers, and they really hit the spot. The restaurant was full of working men on their lunch break. There were a lot of tall guys wearing hats, similar to Pat. Max kept pointing at them and saying "Dada!". We laughed and now joke that Max met all her daddies at Dawn's Deli.
Tuesday came and went with no new news.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15
Every day felt like THE day. Wednesday was no different. We walked and walked. We relaxed at the cabin. We went back to acupuncture. We stopped at Kroger to pick Sharon up some asparagus and apples. Max was starting to get bored with the toys and movies we brought. We were all just ready to have this baby. But Wednesday came and went without a baby.
THURSDAY, APRIL 16
Mom decided to go home for a few days. I felt like I was starting to put people out. Max was bored and I was sure she was homesick. Pat was homesick, I was homesick. Mom left. And it was all because of me. I was beginning to wonder if we had made the right decision to come, but there was no going back at this point. It was still rainy and gloomy. I felt like we brought the rain with us.
Pat, Max, and I were on our own for the day, so we took her out to play and walk some more. She found a puddle in the driveway and started throwing rocks in it. Before we knew it, she was all the way in the puddle, splashing and kicking and having the time of her life. She played and I walked in circles around the driveway.
Julie came down late that night. We were glad to see her. She brought a breath of fresh air with her and lifted our spirits. But again, another day came and went with no sign of baby.
FRIDAY, APRIL 17
The week was coming to an end, and still no baby. Sharon came down that morning to discuss what was next. She said I needed to go back to acupuncture again, but I didn't want to. I didn't feel like it was working, I didn't want to drive all the way there again, and I didn't want to spend another $50. But she convinced me that I should. It wasn't going to hurt anything, it could only help. Then that evening she would come down and sweep my membranes. She said the next morning I was to drink castor oil. She said to buy some juice that I would never want to drink again and mix it equal parts with the castor oil and add some baking soda. I prayed I would just go into labor that night so I wouldn't have to do it.
I asked her if we were doing all this because they thought it was necessary, or because we were there and getting impatient. She laughed at me and reassured me that they would never try to encourage labor for any reason other than it being necessary. She said the baby was only getting bigger and she needed to come out. There are risks that come with having a big baby, and they wanted to reduce those risks if possible. That made me feel much better. And turns out, Julie and mom had the same concern and they were glad I asked.
Pat had decided to run home that morning to grab some books that he had ordered. He also got a whip in the mail. He had recently become interested in bullwhips and was excited to practice. When he got back, he wanted to test out his whip right away. It was so loud and echoed through the woods. Sharon found it humorous and I know she will always remember Pat as the guy with the whip.
Julie took me to acupuncture while Pat stayed behind with Max. They had some much needed time together. I had told mom the plan and she decided to come back Friday night. Sharon came down that evening to do the sweep. She warned that it may hurt a little, but I was prepared. I was 4 cm dilated, as I had been for days. The sweep didn't hurt as much as it was just uncomfortable. I decided to go to bed early to get some rest in case I went into labor during the night.
SATURDAY, APRIL 18
The morning came and baby did not. I was instructed to drink the castor oil at 5:00am. I woke Julie up to help me make it. She poured everything in the blender and it turned black. It made me regret the grape juice decision. It was a full 10 oz of oily, black, gunk that I needed to chug. It was the grossest thing I have ever ingested. A few hours later, I was on the toilet. The point is to make me have diarrhea, and that was supposed to stimulate labor. It didn't hurt or make me sick, and wasn't the horror story that I heard castor oil can be. As the sun came up that morning, I noticed how foggy it was. The fog was so thick, I couldn't see into the woods. It was a sign (it was unusually foggy the morning Max was born). Sharon came down to check on me, and I told her I didn't think the castor oil was working. I spent a few hours running to the toilet, and that was it. So I asked her what was next. She said she had hoped I wouldn't ask and wanted Carol to be the bearer of bad news. She said they set up an appointment for Monday at 1:00 with a local doctor. I would go to the hospital and they would check the baby's size, position, and fluid. She said maybe all I would need was a little pitocin. But to pack for a few days, because I would have the baby in the hospital. It was their protocol, and I was aware this was a possibility, but I didn't think it would come to that. My heart sank and I fought back tears. Sharon instructed mom and Julie and Max to leave for that day so Pat and I could spend some time alone. After she left, I could tell mom was upset with the news too. Pat and I left to go on a walk and we would decide what to do when we got back. As soon as Pat and I got outside, I couldn't hold the tears back any more. I felt like a failure. I felt like all of this was for nothing. That I was just going to end up in the hospital again. He hugged me and reminded me that we still had two days to make it happen. He said we were going to walk more and harder and to put hot sauce on everything I ate. He encouraged me and lifted me up and while I was still a little disappointed, I felt much better. I knew I needed to talk to Carol. I just felt like I would take the news better coming from her.
When we got back, mom and Max left to go to a park and Julie was going to run to town and buy a manual breast pump for me to try to stimulate labor. Pat and I were alone for the first time and it felt weird. I ate an egg sandwich with lots of hot sauce on it. We went for a walk every hour and logged 2 miles. I was exhausted. I was glad when everyone came back. Mom and Max had a blast and Julie had taken some really neat pictures around the Farm. She also brought back a pump and I started using it. Carol came over that afternoon and put my mind at ease. She said that yes, we had an appointment on Monday, but just to check on things. If everything came back fine, we could come back to the cabin and try breaking my water before returning to the hospital. Just as I thought, I felt much better after talking to her. Then she said she didn't want to tell me this because she didn't want me to feel pressured, but that she had to go out of town on Sunday. So if I didn't have the baby before then, she wouldn't be there. I was heartbroken. I couldn't imagine having this baby without her. So we decided I would just have to have the baby that night. She suggested we go walking up and down the hill by the swimming hole. She said she did that when she was pregnant and had her baby two hours later. After she left, me, mom, and Julie went to that hill and started walking. I was having contractions like I had for weeks, but they seemed to be getting a little more frequent. Not enough to get my hopes up, but enough that I noticed. The hill was steep and it was painful. I had already walked 2 miles that day, and now this hill. Ugh. On our fourth trip up the hill, I had to stop because I was having a contraction that was much stronger than any I had felt before. We finished that last trip up and down the hill and headed home. I could feel that something was different. I said that I thought it was going to happen tonight, but my brain wouldn't let my body do it until Maxine was asleep. The contractions started getting more regular and stronger so we decided to time them. It was around 7:00pm and they were consistently 3-5 minutes apart. I jumped in the shower because I felt gross after all the walking. I put on the nursing gown that I planned on laboring in. Mom took Max to bed at 8:00 and shortly afterwards the contractions started getting really strong. I would have to stop and breathe through them at this point. I called Carol and told her what was going on. She sent Sharon down to check me. I was 5-6 cm and she declared me officially in labor! We were so excited. She said she would check on me in a few hours, if she didn't hear from me sooner. We wondered if she would be born on the 18th or 19th. The 19th would be perfect since Max was born on the 19th of August. Pat even looked up famous people born on the 19th because he was convinced it was fate.
I continued having contractions, and they kept getting stronger and stronger. At 10:00, Pat called Carol and told her we were ready for them. Carol and Sharon got there quickly and went straight to work. They got all their stuff set up and Pat and mom started filling the pool. We inflated the pool the first night we were there and it had been taking up space all week. I used it dry Max's diapers on. But it was finally time to put it to use and I was ready to get in it. As soon as it was ready, I just got in with my clothes on and it felt sooooo good. When a contraction would come, I would lean up on the side and Pat would rub my lower back. Julie would remind me to breathe deep and I would. I was beginning to feel like I couldn't stand it anymore. I kept feeling like I was going to throw up. I knew this meant I was close to the end, but it hurt so bad. I had three really strong contractions right on top of each other and Carol could tell by the sounds I was making, that it was time to push. I couldn't have the baby in the water because the temperature was not controlled. So Pat and Julie helped me out of the pool and walked me to the bed. When Carol checked me, I felt my water break. She said it was time to push. Pat climbed on the bed next to me and held my leg while mom held the other one. Julie was taking pictures and reminding me to breathe. I needed to hear her voice. I don't think I would have made it without hearing her telling me how to breathe. I started pushing with each contraction. It was nearing midnight, so it was going to be a close call if she would be born on the 18th or 19th. My pushing wasn't very productive, so they told me to go sit on the toilet and try. I didn't want to get up, but I did. As soon as I got to the toilet, another contraction was coming. I grabbed Pat and pulled him down. He grabbed the shower door and I thought he broke it. Julie slid a stool under him. He sat in front of me and I would grab onto him and moan into his shoulder. He was talking me through it and holding a cold rag on my neck. We shared some intense moments. It was one of those times when I needed him in a way that I have never needed someone before. Nobody but Pat could have gotten me through it. It was so hot in the cabin and I kept telling mom to fan me. (I learned later that they had turned up the heat so it would be warm for the baby.) When I felt a contraction coming I would say "Ok. Ok. Ok." as a way of talking myself into it and letting everyone know it was coming. Carol told me to come back to the bed. Again, Pat climbed onto the bed next to me, and mom took my other leg. Sharon kept insisting that I drink. I would refuse and she would shove a straw in my face so I would take a few quick drinks. She gave me Vitamin Water and Sprite and plain water. And she was right, I needed to drink.
As I pushed, I could feel the baby coming. When a contraction was coming, I would lock eyes with Carol. I can't explain it, but we were telepathic. I could hear her telling me what to do, but she wasn't saying anything. She would just look back at me and I could feel her sending me strength. Before I knew it, they were saying her head was out. And a few more pushes later, her whole body was out. I can't even describe the feeling of relief. And there she was, on my chest. She looked at me, I looked at her and I remember saying "she looks like our Max". I didn't even notice Sharon checking her vitals and taking her Apgar score. I was too busy staring at her, kissing Pat, and relaxing for the first time in hours. It was 12:38am on the 19th, just as Pat predicted. Soon after she was born, it began pouring rain unlike it had all week. We laid there in awe of our new baby for a while when Carol said it was time to birth the placenta. I told her I didn't want to push any more. She said it was stuck on my cervix, and so I gave one good push and it came out. They were in awe of my "perfect placenta" and wanted to weigh it because it was so big. (I don't know if they ever actually did.) They put on the clamp and Pat cut the cord. Freya hardly cried at all. She nursed like a pro and just looked around at everyone with the most peaceful look on her face. After a good while, it was time to weigh and measure her. Carol said she lost a few ounces right away because she took a big poo as soon as she was born. They weighed and measured her right there on the bed with me. She weighed 9lbs 4oz and was 21.5 inches long. She didn't cry or fuss through all of it. Pat put a diaper on her and swaddled her up tight. Everyone took turns holding her and she drifted off to sleep. Carol gave me a big hug and left so she could make her flight later that morning. Sharon stayed behind and helped clean up and get me situated. We were all surprised that my entire labor lasted about 5 hours, I pushed for 40 minutes, and I didn't tear at all. And that Max slept through it all. Sharon left, mom and Julie went to sleep, and Pat and I sat in the bed with our new baby. We sat up until about 4:00am. I barely slept at all, and when Max got up around 9:00, I was so ready to introduce her to her little sister. She didn't quite know what to think and seemed rather unimpressed. But she gave her kisses and tried to put a hat on her.
After we all woke up, mom said she had to go home to go back to work and so did Julie. I assumed we would leave Monday afternoon, but when Pat suggested we just go on home, I was totally for it. I felt great and we were so anxious to be home. I asked Sharon what she thought and she said she couldn't stop us. So Julie took Max home and dropped her off with Jeanie who had been staying at the house with Mars. Pat packed up the Jeep while Sharon came down and held Freya and kept me company. As we started to get in the car, I felt overwhelmed with emotions. I started to cry and Pat hugged me. I was so ready to go home, but I was so sad to leave. So much had happened there and I didn't want to say goodbye. But I thought about Max and wanted to get home to her. The weather was perfect and the spring Tennessee scenery was breathtaking. We talked nonstop the whole way home. As we got the the river, the sun was setting and it was so beautiful. Life was perfect.
We decided to head on down to The Farm on our due date and wait for the baby to come. We knew our date was accurate and didn't feel that I would go much over. We would rather be there and go into labor than go into labor at home and drive there. Carol, our midwife, agreed that this was a good decision. And she had said that with the baby being big, we would start doing things to try to start labor.
I had spent weeks making lists of things to pack. I drove myself crazy trying to be as organized as possible. I didn't want to forget anything. So when it came time to go, we were basically already packed. Pat loaded the car and we headed out. We were so excited to leave as a family of three and return as a family of four. On the drive there, we guessed when we thought she would be born. We both thought it would be in a few days. Pat even said she would come the next day because it was our anniversary and it was supposed to storm, and babies like to come during storms. I hoped he was right so we could meet our baby soon, but hoped he was wrong because I didn't really want to share our anniversary.
We drove straight to our cabin which was attached to Sharon's house. (Sharon was another midwife that I had emailed ALOT in the beginning and she had attended most of our clinic visits.) We quickly unpacked and got Max settled in. Sharon came down to greet us and was just as excited as we were. My mom showed up that evening and brought food. She was going to stay with us and help take care of Max. The first night was rough for Max, and therefore us. She was up and down all night. She is such a homebody and loves her routine, so being away is always hard at first. Luckily, she adjusts quickly and we didn't have any other rough nights.
MONDAY, APRIL 13 - Our Anniversary
We all felt that this would be the day. We woke up early and scheduled an afternoon appointment with an acupuncturist in Lawrenceburg, a town about 30 minutes away. The midwives said that one session of acupuncture could put me into labor. If not, we would repeat it on Wednesday and Friday. By the third time, it was sure to work. In the meantime, we relaxed and walked and relaxed and walked. Maxine loved going on walks around the Farm. It rained on and off all day, but we walked anyway. We walked down Sharon's road and came upon a dead armadillo trapped under some fallen branches. It must have been fresh because we watched it decay over the course of the week. We also met Wilson, a pit bull puppy that lived next door with his owner Kody. Wilson liked joining us for our walks.
Pat and I drove to Lawrenceburg that afternoon for my first session of acupuncture. I was nervous and scared it was going to hurt. The office was small and the staff was very friendly. We went back to the room and a very charismatic man came in to perform the acupuncture. He explained why he was putting the needles where he did. It didn't hurt all that bad. He put 4 needles in each foot/lower leg and one in each hand. We could hear a little girl crying down the hall and he commented how much he hated making little girls cry. He said it was a little Amish girl and she needed her finger splinted. He said that they come to him for everything since they don't go to traditional doctors. There is a large Amish community in the area, and the Farm midwives tend to them as well. I had to sit there for 20 minutes with the needles in. Then a nurse came in and removed them. It was supposed to work within 48 hours, and if not I would return for another session.
We stopped by the Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries and walk around since it was raining pretty hard. We bought ourselves a cast iron dutch oven for our anniversary. When we got back to the cabin, a hummingbird had flown into the atrium and couldn't find his way out. Pat kept an eye on him all evening waiting for him to get tired so he could grab him. Finally, after dark, the bird came to rest on the ground. Pat took him outside, but he couldn't fly. He took him some sugar water and put him in a tree for safety. When he went out later, he had fallen out of the tree so he put him on top of the Jeep. We hoped that he would regain his strength and be fine.
TUESDAY, APRIL 14
We woke up Tuesday a little disappointed that I hadn't gone into labor. Pat went out to check on his hummingbird, and it was dead. I was beginning to think the armadillo and hummingbird were bad omens. I tried not to think about it and just focus on getting this baby out. So we drove down to the swimming hole to walk. It was beautiful down there. The swimming hole was drained, but the creek next to it was flowing and even had a little waterfall. Maxine found her new favorite thing to do - throwing rocks into water. She would have stayed there for hours if she could.
We drove down the road a bit to a place called Dawn's Deli for lunch. We all ordered cheeseburgers, and they really hit the spot. The restaurant was full of working men on their lunch break. There were a lot of tall guys wearing hats, similar to Pat. Max kept pointing at them and saying "Dada!". We laughed and now joke that Max met all her daddies at Dawn's Deli.
Tuesday came and went with no new news.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15
Every day felt like THE day. Wednesday was no different. We walked and walked. We relaxed at the cabin. We went back to acupuncture. We stopped at Kroger to pick Sharon up some asparagus and apples. Max was starting to get bored with the toys and movies we brought. We were all just ready to have this baby. But Wednesday came and went without a baby.
THURSDAY, APRIL 16
Mom decided to go home for a few days. I felt like I was starting to put people out. Max was bored and I was sure she was homesick. Pat was homesick, I was homesick. Mom left. And it was all because of me. I was beginning to wonder if we had made the right decision to come, but there was no going back at this point. It was still rainy and gloomy. I felt like we brought the rain with us.
Pat, Max, and I were on our own for the day, so we took her out to play and walk some more. She found a puddle in the driveway and started throwing rocks in it. Before we knew it, she was all the way in the puddle, splashing and kicking and having the time of her life. She played and I walked in circles around the driveway.
Julie came down late that night. We were glad to see her. She brought a breath of fresh air with her and lifted our spirits. But again, another day came and went with no sign of baby.
FRIDAY, APRIL 17
The week was coming to an end, and still no baby. Sharon came down that morning to discuss what was next. She said I needed to go back to acupuncture again, but I didn't want to. I didn't feel like it was working, I didn't want to drive all the way there again, and I didn't want to spend another $50. But she convinced me that I should. It wasn't going to hurt anything, it could only help. Then that evening she would come down and sweep my membranes. She said the next morning I was to drink castor oil. She said to buy some juice that I would never want to drink again and mix it equal parts with the castor oil and add some baking soda. I prayed I would just go into labor that night so I wouldn't have to do it.
I asked her if we were doing all this because they thought it was necessary, or because we were there and getting impatient. She laughed at me and reassured me that they would never try to encourage labor for any reason other than it being necessary. She said the baby was only getting bigger and she needed to come out. There are risks that come with having a big baby, and they wanted to reduce those risks if possible. That made me feel much better. And turns out, Julie and mom had the same concern and they were glad I asked.
Pat had decided to run home that morning to grab some books that he had ordered. He also got a whip in the mail. He had recently become interested in bullwhips and was excited to practice. When he got back, he wanted to test out his whip right away. It was so loud and echoed through the woods. Sharon found it humorous and I know she will always remember Pat as the guy with the whip.
Julie took me to acupuncture while Pat stayed behind with Max. They had some much needed time together. I had told mom the plan and she decided to come back Friday night. Sharon came down that evening to do the sweep. She warned that it may hurt a little, but I was prepared. I was 4 cm dilated, as I had been for days. The sweep didn't hurt as much as it was just uncomfortable. I decided to go to bed early to get some rest in case I went into labor during the night.
SATURDAY, APRIL 18
The morning came and baby did not. I was instructed to drink the castor oil at 5:00am. I woke Julie up to help me make it. She poured everything in the blender and it turned black. It made me regret the grape juice decision. It was a full 10 oz of oily, black, gunk that I needed to chug. It was the grossest thing I have ever ingested. A few hours later, I was on the toilet. The point is to make me have diarrhea, and that was supposed to stimulate labor. It didn't hurt or make me sick, and wasn't the horror story that I heard castor oil can be. As the sun came up that morning, I noticed how foggy it was. The fog was so thick, I couldn't see into the woods. It was a sign (it was unusually foggy the morning Max was born). Sharon came down to check on me, and I told her I didn't think the castor oil was working. I spent a few hours running to the toilet, and that was it. So I asked her what was next. She said she had hoped I wouldn't ask and wanted Carol to be the bearer of bad news. She said they set up an appointment for Monday at 1:00 with a local doctor. I would go to the hospital and they would check the baby's size, position, and fluid. She said maybe all I would need was a little pitocin. But to pack for a few days, because I would have the baby in the hospital. It was their protocol, and I was aware this was a possibility, but I didn't think it would come to that. My heart sank and I fought back tears. Sharon instructed mom and Julie and Max to leave for that day so Pat and I could spend some time alone. After she left, I could tell mom was upset with the news too. Pat and I left to go on a walk and we would decide what to do when we got back. As soon as Pat and I got outside, I couldn't hold the tears back any more. I felt like a failure. I felt like all of this was for nothing. That I was just going to end up in the hospital again. He hugged me and reminded me that we still had two days to make it happen. He said we were going to walk more and harder and to put hot sauce on everything I ate. He encouraged me and lifted me up and while I was still a little disappointed, I felt much better. I knew I needed to talk to Carol. I just felt like I would take the news better coming from her.
When we got back, mom and Max left to go to a park and Julie was going to run to town and buy a manual breast pump for me to try to stimulate labor. Pat and I were alone for the first time and it felt weird. I ate an egg sandwich with lots of hot sauce on it. We went for a walk every hour and logged 2 miles. I was exhausted. I was glad when everyone came back. Mom and Max had a blast and Julie had taken some really neat pictures around the Farm. She also brought back a pump and I started using it. Carol came over that afternoon and put my mind at ease. She said that yes, we had an appointment on Monday, but just to check on things. If everything came back fine, we could come back to the cabin and try breaking my water before returning to the hospital. Just as I thought, I felt much better after talking to her. Then she said she didn't want to tell me this because she didn't want me to feel pressured, but that she had to go out of town on Sunday. So if I didn't have the baby before then, she wouldn't be there. I was heartbroken. I couldn't imagine having this baby without her. So we decided I would just have to have the baby that night. She suggested we go walking up and down the hill by the swimming hole. She said she did that when she was pregnant and had her baby two hours later. After she left, me, mom, and Julie went to that hill and started walking. I was having contractions like I had for weeks, but they seemed to be getting a little more frequent. Not enough to get my hopes up, but enough that I noticed. The hill was steep and it was painful. I had already walked 2 miles that day, and now this hill. Ugh. On our fourth trip up the hill, I had to stop because I was having a contraction that was much stronger than any I had felt before. We finished that last trip up and down the hill and headed home. I could feel that something was different. I said that I thought it was going to happen tonight, but my brain wouldn't let my body do it until Maxine was asleep. The contractions started getting more regular and stronger so we decided to time them. It was around 7:00pm and they were consistently 3-5 minutes apart. I jumped in the shower because I felt gross after all the walking. I put on the nursing gown that I planned on laboring in. Mom took Max to bed at 8:00 and shortly afterwards the contractions started getting really strong. I would have to stop and breathe through them at this point. I called Carol and told her what was going on. She sent Sharon down to check me. I was 5-6 cm and she declared me officially in labor! We were so excited. She said she would check on me in a few hours, if she didn't hear from me sooner. We wondered if she would be born on the 18th or 19th. The 19th would be perfect since Max was born on the 19th of August. Pat even looked up famous people born on the 19th because he was convinced it was fate.
I continued having contractions, and they kept getting stronger and stronger. At 10:00, Pat called Carol and told her we were ready for them. Carol and Sharon got there quickly and went straight to work. They got all their stuff set up and Pat and mom started filling the pool. We inflated the pool the first night we were there and it had been taking up space all week. I used it dry Max's diapers on. But it was finally time to put it to use and I was ready to get in it. As soon as it was ready, I just got in with my clothes on and it felt sooooo good. When a contraction would come, I would lean up on the side and Pat would rub my lower back. Julie would remind me to breathe deep and I would. I was beginning to feel like I couldn't stand it anymore. I kept feeling like I was going to throw up. I knew this meant I was close to the end, but it hurt so bad. I had three really strong contractions right on top of each other and Carol could tell by the sounds I was making, that it was time to push. I couldn't have the baby in the water because the temperature was not controlled. So Pat and Julie helped me out of the pool and walked me to the bed. When Carol checked me, I felt my water break. She said it was time to push. Pat climbed on the bed next to me and held my leg while mom held the other one. Julie was taking pictures and reminding me to breathe. I needed to hear her voice. I don't think I would have made it without hearing her telling me how to breathe. I started pushing with each contraction. It was nearing midnight, so it was going to be a close call if she would be born on the 18th or 19th. My pushing wasn't very productive, so they told me to go sit on the toilet and try. I didn't want to get up, but I did. As soon as I got to the toilet, another contraction was coming. I grabbed Pat and pulled him down. He grabbed the shower door and I thought he broke it. Julie slid a stool under him. He sat in front of me and I would grab onto him and moan into his shoulder. He was talking me through it and holding a cold rag on my neck. We shared some intense moments. It was one of those times when I needed him in a way that I have never needed someone before. Nobody but Pat could have gotten me through it. It was so hot in the cabin and I kept telling mom to fan me. (I learned later that they had turned up the heat so it would be warm for the baby.) When I felt a contraction coming I would say "Ok. Ok. Ok." as a way of talking myself into it and letting everyone know it was coming. Carol told me to come back to the bed. Again, Pat climbed onto the bed next to me, and mom took my other leg. Sharon kept insisting that I drink. I would refuse and she would shove a straw in my face so I would take a few quick drinks. She gave me Vitamin Water and Sprite and plain water. And she was right, I needed to drink.
As I pushed, I could feel the baby coming. When a contraction was coming, I would lock eyes with Carol. I can't explain it, but we were telepathic. I could hear her telling me what to do, but she wasn't saying anything. She would just look back at me and I could feel her sending me strength. Before I knew it, they were saying her head was out. And a few more pushes later, her whole body was out. I can't even describe the feeling of relief. And there she was, on my chest. She looked at me, I looked at her and I remember saying "she looks like our Max". I didn't even notice Sharon checking her vitals and taking her Apgar score. I was too busy staring at her, kissing Pat, and relaxing for the first time in hours. It was 12:38am on the 19th, just as Pat predicted. Soon after she was born, it began pouring rain unlike it had all week. We laid there in awe of our new baby for a while when Carol said it was time to birth the placenta. I told her I didn't want to push any more. She said it was stuck on my cervix, and so I gave one good push and it came out. They were in awe of my "perfect placenta" and wanted to weigh it because it was so big. (I don't know if they ever actually did.) They put on the clamp and Pat cut the cord. Freya hardly cried at all. She nursed like a pro and just looked around at everyone with the most peaceful look on her face. After a good while, it was time to weigh and measure her. Carol said she lost a few ounces right away because she took a big poo as soon as she was born. They weighed and measured her right there on the bed with me. She weighed 9lbs 4oz and was 21.5 inches long. She didn't cry or fuss through all of it. Pat put a diaper on her and swaddled her up tight. Everyone took turns holding her and she drifted off to sleep. Carol gave me a big hug and left so she could make her flight later that morning. Sharon stayed behind and helped clean up and get me situated. We were all surprised that my entire labor lasted about 5 hours, I pushed for 40 minutes, and I didn't tear at all. And that Max slept through it all. Sharon left, mom and Julie went to sleep, and Pat and I sat in the bed with our new baby. We sat up until about 4:00am. I barely slept at all, and when Max got up around 9:00, I was so ready to introduce her to her little sister. She didn't quite know what to think and seemed rather unimpressed. But she gave her kisses and tried to put a hat on her.
After we all woke up, mom said she had to go home to go back to work and so did Julie. I assumed we would leave Monday afternoon, but when Pat suggested we just go on home, I was totally for it. I felt great and we were so anxious to be home. I asked Sharon what she thought and she said she couldn't stop us. So Julie took Max home and dropped her off with Jeanie who had been staying at the house with Mars. Pat packed up the Jeep while Sharon came down and held Freya and kept me company. As we started to get in the car, I felt overwhelmed with emotions. I started to cry and Pat hugged me. I was so ready to go home, but I was so sad to leave. So much had happened there and I didn't want to say goodbye. But I thought about Max and wanted to get home to her. The weather was perfect and the spring Tennessee scenery was breathtaking. We talked nonstop the whole way home. As we got the the river, the sun was setting and it was so beautiful. Life was perfect.